Notes from practice · D.C. Superior Court
MAGA’s introduction to our criminal justice system
We have learned that the same rules apply to everyone. It does not matter if you are a homeless person or the former president of...
I don’t want to be that guy
I have to be careful — as I grow more experienced and continue to age –that I don’t turn into the stereotype of the cranky...
Getting the rules of evidence wrong in HBO’s “The Undoing”
It can’t be much fun to watch a legal drama on TV with my wife and me. We understand the need to keep the story...
Presenting your best self at a virtual hearing
I am nosy. I am also a snob. I am curious what people choose to display in the background behind them during virtual hearings....
The definition of “stuporous” and other dumb police-isms.
Imagine my delight upon seeing the term “stuporous” used in the police report. Sometimes officers try to do too much. They should stay in their...
“The person giving you free legal advice is an idiot”
I have four questions for the person who is giving free legal advice. Are you a lawyer? Do you do criminal defense? Do you do...
“When Beggars Die, There Are No Comets Seen”
My wife believes in helping out those who are less fortunate. I believe that if everyone would stop giving money to the panhandlers who frequent...
“The Type of Guy That Gives Lawyers a Bad Name”
Q: When did you have that conversation then with David? A: Prior to him ending up in the hospital. Q: Do you recall the date,...
Please Call Me “Sir”
I went into a bank this morning wearing sweat pants, and the guy greeting people at the front door called me “Buddy.” I am sure...
“Observe and Report”: The Duties of Fake Cops
This is what the witness’ duty is. It is not to “protect and serve” like a regular police officer. Instead, it is to “observe and...
Bob Ford Meets Bob Ford
When we lived in Philadelphia, I used to read a daily column in the Philadelphia Inquirer written by a sportswriter named Bob Ford. I also...
Lamp as Inanimate Object and Other Really Bad Analogies
The Washington Post held a contest a couple of years ago in which it asked school teachers to send in examples of the worst analogies...
What We Talk About On Our Way To A Crime Scene
It turns out that Wayne, my investigator, and I both do the laundry in our households. Apparently, neither of us has a wife who understands...
“Don’t Editorialize”
Many police officers have a tendency to editorialize on the witness stand. It is not that the driver reached for the glove compartment after being...
Trial Transcript: A Brand New Prosecutor on Direct
POLICE OFFICER: . . . The defendants knew they were not allowed in the store. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Objection. THE COURT: Grounds? DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor,...