Presenting your best self at a virtual hearing

D.C. criminal defense lawyer

I am nosy. I am also a snob. I am curious what people choose to display in the background behind them during virtual hearings.

The definition of “stuporous” and other dumb police-isms.

D.C. criminal defense attorney

Imagine my delight upon seeing the term “stuporous” used in the police report. Sometimes officers try to do too much. They should stay in their lane.

“The person giving you free legal advice is an idiot”

D.C. criminal defense attorney

I have four questions for the person who is giving free legal advice. Are you a lawyer? Do you do criminal defense? Do you do criminal defense in D.C.? If so, are you an idiot?

“When Beggars Die, There Are No Comets Seen”

My wife believes in helping out those who are less fortunate. I believe that if everyone would stop giving money to the panhandlers who frequent every major traffic intersection in Baltimore, the panhandlers would be gone within a… Read More

“The Type of Guy That Gives Lawyers a Bad Name”

Q:            When did you have that conversation then with David? A:            Prior to him ending up in the hospital. Q:            Do you recall the date, approximately? A:            No, I do not recall an approximate date. Q:            Not even… Read More

Please Call Me “Sir”

I went into a bank this morning wearing sweat pants, and the guy greeting people at the front door called me “Buddy.” I am sure that, had I been wearing a suit, he would have called me “sir.”… Read More

Three Voices in Writing

                        H/T Ken White

“Observe and Report”: The Duties of Fake Cops

This is what the witness’ duty is.  It is not to “protect and serve” like a regular police officer.  Instead, it is to “observe and report.” The judge isn’t sure she heard this right, and she asks him… Read More

A Quadrilateral Named Bob

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