Avvo: Falsus in Uno, Falsus in Omnibus

U.S. Capitol building

Like Kramer asking for extra MSG on Seinfeld, I think I am going to put myself on a “please call” list for marketers. Just kidding. Some marketing guy from Avvo called me the other day, and I shut… Read More

Bob Ford Meets Bob Ford

Jefferson Memorial

When we lived in Philadelphia, I used to read a daily column in the Philadelphia Inquirer written by a sportswriter named Bob Ford. I also played softball every Sunday with a guy named Bob Ford. At first it… Read More

Lamp as Inanimate Object and Other Really Bad Analogies

D.C. skyline

The Washington Post held a contest a couple of years ago in which it asked school teachers to send in examples of the worst analogies they had ever encountered in grading student papers.  Below, with thanks to Ruth… Read More

Amusing Trial Transcripts

Back when I was a public defender, my office mate used to come across me reading transcripts from court hearings I had done – from either a trial or a preliminary hearing – and kid me.  I thought… Read More

Brilliant Trial Lawyer or Simple Ass?

  MR. KOEHLER:  Objection.  Relevance. THE COURT:  Mr. Koehler, you can sit down. MR. KOEHLER:  Your honor, this is absolutely ridiculous. MR. RIORDAN:  No, it’s not. THE WITNESS:  No, it’s not. MR. KOEHLER:  It is completely irrelevant. THE… Read More

Jack Lambert and My Investigator

D.C. skyline

  Wayne, my investigator, thinks he is being subtle. He insists on escorting me out of a bad neighborhood whenever we finish a crime scene investigation, and he doesn’t realize I can see him lingering down the street… Read More

If You Can’t Afford a Lawyer, Just Pay the Fine

Aerial view of DC

Defense strategy of pro se defendant this morning consisted mostly of making faces during the police officer’s testimony.  Note to self:  Not real effective.  Surprisingly enough, the prosecutor still felt the need for argument.

On the Concept of Estoppel

  We are having trouble with the sliding door on our mini-van. I take it back to the Toyota dealership shop a couple of times and spend a fortune to get it fixed but there still seems to… Read More

Joyriding With Stanny Bum

Many of the rude words and gestures I know today I learned from driving with my father while growing up. I didn’t learn these things from my father, because I never once heard him utter a bad word…. Read More

On Dentists and Monkeys: Fifty Years On

  This is four or five years ago:  I drive my father to the dentist.  My father has been going to this same dentist for 50 years. The dentist used to clean my teeth. Once, when I was… Read More