U.S. Capitol building

Avvo: Falsus in Uno, Falsus in Omnibus

Jamison KoehlerLaw Marketing/Networking

Like Kramer asking for extra MSG on Seinfeld, I think I am going to put myself on a “please call” list for marketers. Just kidding. Some marketing guy from Avvo called me the other day, and I shut him down the same way I shut down most marketers: I told him I am so swamped with business that I couldn’t …

Jefferson Memorial

Bob Ford Meets Bob Ford

Jamison KoehlerHumor

When we lived in Philadelphia, I used to read a daily column in the Philadelphia Inquirer written by a sportswriter named Bob Ford. I also played softball every Sunday with a guy named Bob Ford. At first it did not occur to me that the Bob Ford I played softball with every Sunday had anything to do with the Bob …

D.C. skyline

Lamp as Inanimate Object and Other Really Bad Analogies

Jamison KoehlerHumor

The Washington Post held a contest a couple of years ago in which it asked school teachers to send in examples of the worst analogies they had ever encountered in grading student papers.  Below, with thanks to Ruth Hamburger, are some of my favorites.  He was as tall as a 6’3” tree. John and Mary had never met.  They were …

Amusing Trial Transcripts

Jamison KoehlerHumor

Back when I was a public defender, my office mate used to come across me reading transcripts from court hearings I had done – from either a trial or a preliminary hearing – and kid me.  I thought I was being conscientious, working hard to make myself a better lawyer.  He thought I was being vain. Apparently he hadn’t read …

Brilliant Trial Lawyer or Simple Ass?

Jamison KoehlerCriminal Procedure, Humor, Trial Advocacy

  MR. KOEHLER:  Objection.  Relevance. THE COURT:  Mr. Koehler, you can sit down. MR. KOEHLER:  Your honor, this is absolutely ridiculous. MR. RIORDAN:  No, it’s not. THE WITNESS:  No, it’s not. MR. KOEHLER:  It is completely irrelevant. THE WITNESS:  What’s ridiculous is how [the petitioner] gets away with all this stuff. THE COURT:  I really can’t properly judge the relevance …

Joyriding With Stanny Bum

Jamison KoehlerMiscellaneous

Many of the rude words and gestures I know today I learned from driving with my father while growing up. I didn’t learn these things from my father, because I never once heard him utter a bad word. It wasn’t that using a curse word was in bad taste, though he clearly thought that too. It was that it was …

On Dentists and Monkeys: Fifty Years On

Jamison KoehlerMiscellaneous

  This is four or five years ago:  I drive my father to the dentist.  My father has been going to this same dentist for 50 years. The dentist used to clean my teeth. Once, when I was about 10 years old, he walked out into the waiting area during a break and announced to the receptionist – within hearing …