“You are an insignificant nobody”

by Jamison Koehler on December 3, 2013

“Please leave your name and number and I will get back to you at my earliest convenience.”

At my earliest convenience?  Are you kidding me?

Would you leave such an obnoxious, my-time-is-more-important-than-your-time message on your voice machine?

On the aggravation scale, this is even worse than the “I’ll push my religion on you” greeting “Have a blessed day!”

We are thirty years past the date you needed to leave detailed instructions on your voice machine – you know, about waiting for the beep and all.

My favorite voice message of all time consisted of three simple words:  Ready.  Set.  Go.

And this voice message has to be the ultimate in terms of rudeness.  It is the equivalent of saying:  I will get back to you when I get around to it.  Maybe I will call you back.  Maybe I won’t.

2 Comments on ““You are an insignificant nobody”

  1. Somebody needs a hug. You are good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. When I get that outgoing message, I think the person is just trying to say ASAP in another, less artful, way.

    The blessed day thing is exactly as you say.

  2. Noah: Thank you. (And you are far more charitable than I.)

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