Overheard on Twitter #4

by Jamison Koehler on August 10, 2011

@Popehat

Trying my best to convey to judge that I respect this court just as if it were a real court.

Al-Qaeda demands that U.S. improve infrastructure so it is worth attacking.

Apparently some people think I shouldn’t try to make them feel bad for saying “retard.” That’s so gay.

@alqaeda

Our cyber-jihad will begin with a wave of martyrdom attacks in Second Life & Farmville.

 @ericlmayer

Dear Potential Clients: When you email asking for Pro Bono representation, remember to delete “Sent from my iPhone” from the message.

@Nancy Myrland

Guy walks in to a dr’s office: “Dr., I think I’m addicted to Twitter.” Doctor: “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”

@odonnellsteve

ALF was the advance team. Melmac attacks, enslaves mankind, eats all the cats.  #BetterSitcom Endings

Castaways eat Gilligan.  #Better Sitcom Endings

@kreyes

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” -Frank Sinatra.

@antoninpribetic

We don’t use the phrase “Comes now” in briefs here in Canada. i would also avoid “Titus, bring your friend hither”