On Secret Handshakes and the Senior Citizens Club

by Jamison Koehler on May 12, 2011

I have been a member of two societies in my life that had a secret handshake, one a fraternity and the other an academic honor society, both of which I joined while in college. Imagine my disappointment on learning at the induction ceremony for each that the secret handshake was exactly the same.

This afternoon I joined yet another club. I was standing at the cash register at our local grocery store when the checker asked me if I would be qualifying for any senior discounts.  I must have done a double-take.  Are you kidding me?  This slim and very youthful-looking Adonis? It seems like only yesterday that I was still being carded in restaurants.  I knew the day was inevitable; I just didn’t know that it would come this soon.

Now that I have recovered from this indignity, I am thinking that if there is a secret handshake for this club and if it is a different handshake than the one I already know, they better teach it to me soon. Who knows, after a few more years, I may no longer be able to remember it.

2 Comments on “On Secret Handshakes and the Senior Citizens Club

  1. Stop complaining. This should have happened long ago. Ten seconds of Internet research told me you became eligible to join AARP in November 2009, when you turned 50.

    Think how much money you could have saved.

  2. You are missing the point here, Gurwitz. This has to do with vanity, not saving money. I look really, really good for my age, and I know that because my mother tells me so.

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