Overheard on Twitter

by Jamison Koehler on September 29, 2010

@mattbrownaz

Capital defendant has murder tattooed on his neck.  Bet he regrets that decision right about now.

@kakapojayne

I can’t understand why Pastor Terry Jones wants to burn a copy of the Koran when there are so many Twilight books lying around.

@mjlovell

Still waiting for Obama to take my gun (and sell it to help buy a Cadillac for a welfare queen).

If Obama would just man up and order that all Muslims be interned in camps, we wouldn’t have to worry about them building mosques.

It’s a community center.  They’re going to have a gym.  They’re going to have point guards.  Muslim point guards.

Men who practice the wearing of beards should stay away from Ground Zero, because hijackers often wear beards.

Timothy McVeigh was a Catholic.  It would be insensitive for anyone to attend a mass anywhere in Oklahoma City.  Go back to Ireland, jerks!

If not the U.S. military, we’d probably be speaking German.  If not for smallpox, we’d probably be speaking Iroquois.

@alqaeda

We have New Twitter.  Thank you.  Your families will be returned, unharmed, as promised.

Facebook is down.  Not sure if we did that, but should claim credit anyway.  Hitting the infidel where it hurts, etc.

Just noticed that Twitter keeps prompting me to “”Add a location to your tweets.”  Not falling for that one.

It’s hard to say which I find more offensive:  Jones’s planned desecration of the Quran, or his mustache.

Afghanistan is more like the US every day:  democracy, women’s rights & corrupt bankers trashing the economy.

If the U.S. is a terrorism exporter, then I’m just trying to help them avoid a trade deficit.

. . .  Muslim is code for “brown-skinned guy we don’t trust”

Pastor Jones’ brilliant plan to prevent another 9/11:  burn some Korans.  Yeah, that’ll work.

2 Comments on “Overheard on Twitter

  1. Isn’t that great? And some of the best ones I couldn’t use because they were tied to links.

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